self-care, Self care and collective care for late diagnosed neurodivergent adults with AuDHD (autism and ADHD)
“You’re not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. Your brain works a little bit differently and with the right tools, you can mitigate the challenges, lean into the strengths and ultimately achieve amazing things.” ~ Alex Partridge, Now it All Makes Sense
I’ve been a professional coach since 2004 (and am a Past Chair of BACP Coaching). Understanding and befriending my own AuDHD brain has been life changing and it’s an honour, privilege and joy to be able to share decades of professional and a lifetime of lived experience with my neurodivergent clients and supervisees.
Want to support your nervous system and brain to improve your focus, concentration, mood and self-esteem? To learn to lean into your strengths and thrive?
Read on for more on how we might work together to befriend and support your AuDHD (autism and ADHD) brain either one to one (online or by telephone across Ireland and the UK or with face to face indoor or outdoor nature-based sessions in Westport, Co Mayo, Ireland) or through group events. Scroll down for immediate access to simple and effective Self and self-care ideas, rituals, resources and mind-body practises you can start implementing right now for instant results.
Are you ready to (with an enormous amount of practice and in a neuro-affirming way) potentially rewire your brain and gain a better understanding of your whole self for long term improvements?
To be clear, this isn’t about masking more or attempting to be neuro-typical. Befriending your neurodivergent brain means accepting and working with yourself exactly as you are. And the peace that can bring is transformative.
What is VAST?
VAST – Variable Attention Stimulus Trait – is a new name for ADHD traits coined by Drs Ratey and Hallowell (psychiatrists, ADHD specialists and ADHD humans). Less pathologising and more strengths focused, it’s not about ignoring the challenges and limitations (and working with our own internalised ableism) but it can be an empowering reframe.
Some of my own VAST/ADHD and AuDHD journey
While I’ve been working with my own trauma recovery for decades, my more deliberate journey with ADHD (also known as VAST – Variable Attention Stimulus Trait as a less pathologising more neuroaffirming, strengths focused way of navigating the struggles and the gifts of the condition) is just a few years old. Even though an MRI showed an “abnormality” that correlates with ADHD (VAST) back in 2013, like so many, the obvious symptoms were missed when I was a girl.
In 2024, I was diagnosed with “severe ADHD with combined presentation”. I started medication (for a while) in 2025 and, in 2026, was diagnosed as autistic.
AuDHD. FINALLY, a map to help me better understand myself and navigate this wondrous and often excrutiating world and life.
While it’s an enormous relief, it was an emotional rollercoaster.
Things could have been SOOOOOO much easier for me all these decades had I just known.
I imagine this is a feeling you’re already familiar with.
There’s such a large correlation between complex trauma symptoms and ADHD (VAST) and AuDHD (autism and ADHD), it makes sense that the somatic, Polyvagal-informed approach I’ve been using since 2011 supports people, like me, with both, especially well
Self care is especially important for my neurodivergent (ND) clients and supervisees. Similar to trauma survivors (and of course many have both), our nervous systems need A LOT of support. Things other people seem to get by with/without floor us if we’re not vigilant about self and Self care.
Many of my ADHD and AuDHD clients and supervisees, like myself, have only recently (in the past several years – diagnosis 2024) realised that so many of the parts of life and business we’ve struggled so much with was because of our neurodivergence, especially ADHD and AuDHD.
Whether you’ve been formally diagnosed, are awaiting diagnosis (I waited 18 months between GP referral and psychiatric assessment) or are self diagnosed, I’d love to help you amp up that grace and self compassion as you learn to love your whole self – including your uniquely wired brain and nervous system.
Everything is information and your symptoms are trying to help you.
We had enough shame and criticism growing up without endless retraumatising ourselves with abusive self talk
While there’s a strong correlation with trauma, complex trauma (also known as developmental trauma), ADHD (VAST) and AuDHD, we don’t even need to know which symptoms come from either or both to develop and sustain more self compassion and acceptance.
The more I learn, the more I feel able to benefit from the positive elements (creativity etc) while not being as harsh with myself and putting more supports in place to help me with the challenges.
It’s also been fascinating to gain a deeper understanding of how some of my relatives are also neurodivergent.
Modern life plays a part, too. Apart from hormonal changes like perimenopause and then menopause, the extra decade of so much time on my phone and other devices will have been rewiring my brain just as my daily yoga and meditation helps rewire it for concentration, focus, improved mood and more beneficial.
Do you think (or know) you have ADHD or AuDHD?
Whether you have a psychiatric or self diagnosis of ADHD or you’re simply exploring the possibility, I can potentially support you in helping yourself by providing the safe space to explore the feelings that are coming up for you as well as with teaching you (or reminding you about) self care tools to improve your experience and accommodate working memory issues.
If you’re interested in the transpersonal (beyond the person) and/or parts approach, we can also work with the part of yourself that is MORE than your AuDHD or any other struggles and challenges.
This is not about denying the challenges. Many of the challenges we face are to do with living in an abelist, patriarchal, white-supremacist, capitalist society rather than your actually glorious, wondrous, beautiful brain. Learning to love yourself exactly as you are v being an effective cog in a machine is a radical act.
With greater awareness and understanding of how we are and what we need, we can put more effective supports in place for MUCH easier lives.
Are you ready to start befriending your beautiful neurodivergent AuDHD brain?
Access 100s of body-mind practices designed for your AuDHD brain by signing up below
While I had no idea I had ADHD or AuDHD when I trained in All The Things and wrote the book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (White Owl, a Pen & Sword imprint, 2017), it’s the manual for life I wish I’d had growing up. I knew it was trauma informed and now know it’s ADHD-friendly. It’s also (now) obvious as to why I gravitated to such a wide range of therapies to help me help myself (and later clients, groups and supervisees). I hope you find the self care ideas that interest you helpful – you can borrow/order it from your local library and/or bookshop or online.
Rapport-April-2019-Choosing-focus-when-we-want-to-do-everything
While all the episodes will have something to support you in befriending your ADHD or AuDHD brain, you might especially enjoy:
Episode 24: Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas
Episode 25: Louise Lucas (formerly Brown)
Episode 5: Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar
Episode 28: Jayne Leonard on cooking as Self care and self-care and episodes 42 and 45
Episode 34: Athena Suyaka on discipline as Self and self-care
Episode 41: Lisa Woodruff on organising as Self care and self-care