The other day, as I completed my daily yoga nidra practice, I realised that I often keep this aspect of my journey to myself. Each session typically begins with heart palpitations and a whirlwind of self-talk
Despite having facilitated thousands of yoga nidras for others for over a decade, my personal daily practice only began in spring 2023. This shift came after I sought an assessment for ADHD, recognising the need to support my brain in every way possible.
Last week, I received a psychiatric diagnosis of “severe ADHD with combined presentation.” Until that moment, I had wondered if I was wasting my time and everyone else’s, convincing myself that I should simply push through. However, this diagnosis, combined with my trauma-informed approach to all my work, has reminded me that I am not alone in my struggles.
Meditation is HARD!
Yes. I probably shouldn’t have recorded this video in my pjs with no make-up but it was an epiphany I wanted to share as I believe my experience will resonate with many
So often, people think they cannot meditate. I say “we” even though I have been meditating every morning since 2013.
I’m not fit for human interaction without it. Yet, some days it takes me just 10 minutes to settle, while on others, it can stretch to an hour. This variability is a reflection of how my brain is wired—what I once thought was normal has proven to be my ADHD. [https://solestosoul.ie/adhd]
Despite the challenges, I remain a staunch proponent of yoga nidra. I’ve shared many videos highlighting its numerous benefits: boosting dopamine, enhancing mood, improving concentration and focus, helping us achieve our goals, and lowering blood pressure.
But until now, I’ve never fully expressed how challenging it can be for me – even knowing all these benefits – to start each session. Often, I find myself wanting to give up before I even get into it.
Finding my rhythm
To navigate this, I’ve created a list of yoga nidra recordings in my notes so I can choose from this small selection instead of psyching myself out with too much choice. Sometimes, I opt for my own voice-only sessions, which cover various themes and focus areas.
I know these recordings are trauma-sensitive and, more recently, I’ve realised, ADHD-friendly. When I listen to others types of yoga nidra I often feel a wave of anxiety, worrying about how the session will unfold. While I generally dislike background music or noise, I find that I can persevere if I like the voice enough (very subjective) to relax into the instructions given.
I have a handful of familiar recordings from other practitioners that I return to, but I also enjoy creating my own guided sessions in my mind. This is especially helpful when on a train without headphones or if I’m ever struggling to fall back asleep at night.
Even so, when I consciously intend to fully engage with a longer guided (by someone else) yoga nidra, I often find myself battling palpitations and intense anxiety, even while appearing relaxed.
The power of self talk
Last week, I found myself reflecting on my self talk during the throat chakra segment of the Love your WHOLE self chakra journey on selfcarecoaching.net/sole-to-soul-circle/. This practice has heightened my awareness of the internal dialogue I maintain.
For 48 years, I’ve been critical of myself for not doing things “right.” Thanks to years of teaching yoga, I know that while everyone generally appears peaceful and serene, everyone has their own inner battles — thoughts, distractions, and self talk that can either uplift or discourage.
Even though I struggle almost daily to return to my yoga nidra practice, I’ve been focusing on longer sessions to support my mind and nervous system. Each day, I feel the urge to run away from it, overwhelmed by the multitude of tasks on my plate. Yet, by the end of a session—like Friday’s 25-minute practice—I often feel completely at ease and at peace. Blissed out even.
Most of my recordings are around 20 minutes or shorter, but I’ve been exploring longer sessions, sometimes up to 40 minutes, to deepen my experience.
Endless self discovery
It astonishes me that I can move so quickly from acute anxiety to a state of calm. Learning to drive and navigating the roads alone (three weeks today since I started driving alone with my full driving licence!) has intensified my anxiety.
But I’m learning to manage it alongside my ADHD and ongoing trauma recovery. At 48, I feel better than I ever have in my life. If my younger self had known that life could be this beautiful, it would have made an enormous difference.
Still, I recognise that my journey has been more challenging than (in an ideal world) it could have been. With each new insight, I realise that what feels normal for me may not be for others. That a lot of this is my ADHD. And that you might have it too!
I share this reflection in hopes of encouraging anyone who feels they cannot meditate or engage with yoga nidra.
Allow yourself to go with the flow and welcome all feelings.
By the end of each session, I often feel as if I’ve emerged from the ocean or a pool—rejuvenated and human again. While returning to my yoga nidra practice may seem indulgent, it is, in many ways, just as demanding as walking into the sea.
Your experience matters
Whether you’re an EMBODIED member or not, I would love to hear how you’re navigating your own journey with yoga nidra and other guided relaxations. I remember engaging in guided relaxations during school drama classes and I was full on acting, pretending to be relaxed while feeling like I was jumping out of my skin.
Throughout my yoga therapy training, I often felt like a pinball machine, bouncing around internally while maintaining a peaceful exterior.
Despite these challenges, I’ve gained invaluable benefits from each meditation and yoga nidra. I know the advantages of these practices with every fibre of my being. So, I urge you: please don’t give up on yourself.
Find something that resonates with you—it might be one of my yoga nidras or someone else’s. Commit to it and recognise that you are worth the effort.
And if you’re interested and free on Monday 2nd September at 8pm, you’re very welcome to join a special Sort Your Self Talk Circle (part of the becoming more EMBODIED with trauma and/or ADHD online community membership but the first part is free to all – RSVP by emailing CIRCLE to me at eve@selfcarecoaching.net
Sending enormous love to you, your brain, your body, your heart, and your soul.
And wishing you a gorgeous week!
le grá,
